The Loose Association of Wargamers

It’s funny how you can know someone for years. Perhaps even count them a friend. And yet you suffer some misfortune, say almost lose your arm in a violent combat (in which if you remember correctly, you actually volunteered to assist them!) and yet they choose to take the piss by corrupting your fine Elven name of Amris to Armless.... oh the indignity!

Not like he rocked up in shiny armour, waving a sword, waded into the fray like he could handle himself, and got his silky, powdered balls handed to him by a gap-toothed peasant with - I shit thee not - a twig.

Imagine if he’d had to face a really dangerous Hattie Jacques lookalike such as the one that kept you and the hobbit busy for some hours...

I delivered a first-class ‘stun’ cantrip right in her hooters, then left her stunned carcass for the hobbit to carve up, while I went to rescue his Elfiness from the twig-wielding peasant.

Little did I know that Purp’s (usually massive & rigid) murderboner was inexplicably flaccid this week and he merely danced around her ineffectively ‘til the spell wore off.

Anyway, wasn’t the high point of your martial prowess managing to snap your own hamstring whilst fighting a yokel with a rake... who you only defeated when he critically fumbled his way onto your axe blade while you hobbled about in pain?

Is there another gang I could join. I mean, asses were handed out all round by a gang of badly foam flecked peasants armed with household goods, what’s it going to be like when we actually face real weapons?

But, for good news, Roll20 seems like quite a workable system - I shall practice a bit before the next session.

I’d be more worried about what you, and they, will do when they come across the dragon that destroyed Gotheim......

That’s hardly a dilemma, is it?

We just have to hope the dragon’s hiring and has six application forms in his briefcase.

I for one welcome our new dragon overlords.

Yeah my rolling was terrible last night.
I also enjoy the ribbing I get for standing at the back and using ranged weapons.... as a ranged specialist and especially one where a fat woman can punch my little unarmored body once and I nearly die ! Lol

Ive not used any XP yet mind. Might log it tonight and see if there is anything I can buff but didn’t look like it