The Loose Association of Wargamers

Let us not forget the efficacy of dried onion, especially when shot from a sling.

Was that before or after you soiled yourself ?(again)

Last night our Investigators attended a costume party at the Comte de Fenelik’s Estate. Their +1 was 50 soldiers and a 6lb cannon. And two of them decided to dress as furries.

Upon arriving at the estate, they had to exchange their expensive furry costumes for blood drenched animal outfits of the real kind. Two of the party engaged in the debauched activities inside whilst the rest knocked on the gates with their cannon.

Unable to find the Comte, they descended to the cellar, where they met the Comte himself next to a giant statue. Their +1 all ran away. A bumbling combat ensued where they fired balls of onion powder at the Comte. He seemed largely invulnerable to their attacks until they figured out the statue was his weakness. Instead of hitting it with their Sappers axe, they decided to set a fuse on a barrel of gunpowder and run away. The Comte promptly plucked the fuse from the barrel and they had to return rather sheepishly. Étienne was nearly cut in 2 and spent 72 luck to avoid this. Eventually the statue was shattered and the Comte rendered unconscious as a result. In the ensuing argument about how best to kill him, including delicately removing the top part of his head with a sappers axe so that his brain could be studied, the body disappeared. Their employer then showed up and said they must leave the statue for him to study. They ignored him and for a second time, set the fuse on a barrel of gun powder. And for a second time the fuse was plucked.

The curtain was then drawn over the session and we will continue next week!

There was a lot of U-turning going on.
Advice like: Don't light the fuse, hit the Comte, hit the statue, don't hit the Comte or the statue, obey the boss, disobey the boss, light the f'ing fuse.
Etc, etc.
It's like we didn't know what we were doing.
Still, a 6 foot squirrel smelling of turnips and turning up at a soiree (when other guests weren't dressed up) was a highlight.

ALWAYS light the fuse.
Thing about uncertainty is, once the fuse is lit, uncertainty resolves all by itself. Like magic!

Thing about The Statue of Dorian Grey though... it doesn’t hit back. Not so much the bad guys’ Achilles Heel as the party’s ‘light duties, excused boots’. ‘Hit the Statue’ became v-e-r-y popular once that penny dropped.

Well, that was interesting!!
I think our safest tIme was in the Bastille.
Although I’ve decided that my nom de guerre won’t be ‘the Wolf’ anymore, I’ll be the Artful Dodger

The Big Bad was captured, really there was no reason to hang around revolutionary Paris anymore. Or is there?

Our Investigators spent some time in the Bastille courtesy of some allegations of theft. Unfortunately the revolution did not occur before they learnt the vital skill ‘prison wallet’.

After being set free, they ransacked, and then burnt to the ground their ex-employers house. Unable to find him, life returned to normal and Madame Guillotine rose and fell. Five years pass. One day they see their old friend Captain Malon on the way to the Guillotine, and before the blade falls, he manages to tell them their employer has returned and is up to no good in the Catacombs. Are a lengthy debate, or was finally decided to go to said catacombs.

There they have a tussle with the Guillotined Dead, random heads sewn on random bodies and reanimated. Once this beast is dispatched, they take on their old Employer who seems impervious to damage. Maxime is sorely wounded, and the party decide discretion is the better part of valor and run as fast as their little legs can carry them. Ahead, someone whispers ‘Come with me if you want to live’, clearly they do and they descend into the bowels of Paris. Their savior is a Ghoul and tells them all he knows about the employer. Apparently he is trying to open the gates to Azhathoths realm and each victim of Madame Guillotine is helping him achieve that.

Our previous employers seems to be quite annoyed with us. Can't be anything to do with Maxime nicking his book can it? And now that we need the book to save the Earth, he's gone and lost it....

If I'd nicked the book, I'd be the one with satanic superpowers, wouldn't I?

I am reminded of 'Archer's "If I was a clone of Adolf Hitler, wouldn't I look like Adolf Hitler?" line.

well don't forget you are a doctor who can't read latin