What are people buying?

[Jeremy]

I wonder if there is any money in running a dildo bar? When a MFLGBTQI2++ gets the urges, he/she/zhe/zhong can nip in, swipe his/her/zher/zhu card and get hot and sweaty with a piece of plastic or rubber.

Much better. But what about those with plastic or latex allergies? You’re discriminating against them now. Do you have ones that are made of natural products, and are those natural products harvested ethically and suitable for Vegans?

[Norman D. Landings]

Yeah....
Don’t you have any recycled carbon-neutral fair trade hemp-fibre dildos? Preferably organic?

Because the environment didn’t consent to be fucked.

[RMD]

I might have mentioned this before, but back in my Light Blue days, as a secondary duty I was OIC of a barrack block... The WRAF Block, to be precise...

We had a nightmare trying to keep the building compliant with fire regulations, as someone kept stealing the nine-inch long, two-inch thick, black rubber-coated CO2 cylinders from the fire extinguishers...

I know, it's a mystery...

[Etranger]

Inevitably, the Japanese have automated the whole process of purchasing said items...

[grizzlymc]

Yes, they have vending machines at commuter stations. So, if you've had a hard day at work, you can pick up a bit on the way home. Surprisingly, parks across the road from stations are not full of frantically masturbating Japanese girls.

[Norman D. Landings]

This here new book about the Ottoman armies of the Napoleonic Wars is a bit of a double-edged sword....

It’s like: ‘the big book of why all your figures are wrong’ and it’s sequel: ‘don’t bother looking for right ones, nobody does them’, in one handy volume.

Also, it was proof-read by a chimp.
‘Numerically week’ - ‘grant battle’ - ‘heal of the foot’ - ‘ordinally soldier’.

That’s poundshop editing for forty quid.

Edited to add: sorry for taking the spotlight off dildos for a minute.

[Etranger]

To combine the two for a moment...

An Ottoman judge gives sexual advice and a dildo to a woman who is dissatisfied with her incompetent husband (1721)

Now there's an idea for a DBx camp...

[grizzlymc]

Purps, we have your Ottoman HQ.

[Norman D. Landings]

Massive research points to Etranger for his ottoman+dildo googlequest.
This is why, in Call of Cthulhu, research erodes your SAN.

[Paul]

This here new book about the Ottoman armies of the Napoleonic Wars is a bit of a double-edged sword....

Is that the Flaherty one? Wasn't that released in 2017? Not totally convinced about some of it tbh.