Pulp Cthulhu

[Norman D. Landings]

Ladies and gentlemen, the end result of careful cogitation after a night to sleep on it: 'you smell'.

This is why I run ahead.

[World2dave]

You should at least have take your mate Gerald ahead with you. He'll start getting nervous with Dr Singh coming up behind him.

[Jeremy]

In more ways than one

[Norman D. Landings]

If I have to wipe pineapple chunk off a yeti somebody's getting shot in the foot with the .477 calibre stopping revolver and I'll name names on the ammunition expenditure form.

[goat major]

Well quite a lot happened tonight……

Randall, Karina and Derrick deftly charged over the narrow rock bridge and peeped into what was clearly a serpent person control room filled with whirring computers and view screens. They took the obvious next step and started eliminating the Serpent People call centre staff while over the communicators an American woman could be heard barking furious orders at her minions and demonstrating expert micro-management skills.

Meanwhile Hilaire and Singh were surprised by machete wielding Serpent People and in a furious fight killed one while Singh unbelievably knocked another unconscious with his fists. Poor old Gerald didn’t survive. Exploring the room behind them they observed an environmental suit processing machine that promptly gutted and de-organ-ed an unlucky human. Outraged, the dynamic pair freed a poor Icelandic lady and saved her from the same fate.

Back in the control room the victorious heroes came face to face on the view screen with a human lady who introduced herself as Rose Meadham. The daughter of Joshua Meadham the elderly head of Caduceus. She explained to them her father’s crazy plans to subjugate humanity and if they didn’t believe her to check what he has in his basements, or the documents in his office or what he has been shipping into his warehouse at Red Hook. She agreed she may be able to help them with more information but it was imperative for the sake of humans and serpent people that he is stopped before he works out how to get to Mu. At that point the viewscreen started to fade. Other screens in the control room showed an animation of all the world’s volcanos exploding in sequence and causing the Earth to be enveloped in plumes of smoke. Also a diagram of a huge 3 mile long yeti seemingly sleeping under the mountain.

The next chamber was a huge neural network of cylinders chained together. Following Derrick’s instructions Karina grabbed one and immediately klaxons started all over the base and a countdown began. Both sections of the party ran for the possible exits. Well one ran, the other ambled. As they met up they heard the howl of a deranged mutated serpent person overlord. In a strange moment Karina ordered it to kill the humans. Randall rushed into a chamber that contained multiple glass transport spheres and immediately shot up one that contained two serpent people trying to escape up a vertical access chimney. As he tried to work out how to control the spheres he felt a bullet hit him in the back from Karina, who then fell to the floor babbling about teeth and how they are out to get her.

Everyone rushed for the spheres and Karina and Hilaire seemed to find a way to accelerate from 0-100MPH in 5 seconds vertically upwards.

Dr Singh rescued the beautiful Icelandic lady and gracefully took her up the chimney.

Randall meanwhile took one look at the mutated serpent man and had a genius plan to get out of the sphere , spray it with goo and then run around the sphere Benny Hill style until it got tired. Amazingly this worked (Was it 6 luck rolls at <10% ?) and finally coming to his senses he climbed into the sphere as Derrick started to fly it upwards. At the last moment though the serpent man’s tongue lashed out and grabbed him, but he managed to slam the hatch lid , slicing the tongue in two and forcing the beast to fall to the ground. The volcano started to erupt as lava poured into the room, all Derrick needed to do was to fly safely up the chimney and away but at the critical moment he stalled it ….

Overhead, Hilaire, Singh and Karina circled the volcano as it started to blast forth rocks and magma and gas in a furious eruption. Derrick and Randall didn’t emerge…….

[Norman D. Landings]

The volcano can come and have a go of it thinks its hard enough.

[levied troop]

....... Derrick and Randall didn’t emerge…….

That's ok, we've got a beautiful and naked Icelandic lady (who will be forever grateful to Hilaire for rescuing her from the disembowelling tube) to replace them.

[goat major]

You rescued her from the disembowelling tube and let her go with Singh in an enclosed transport sphere. Which is worse again ?

[Norman D. Landings]

Yeah, you've seen the last of that, you chump.
You couldn't have served her up to Dr Singh any better unless you'd handed her a tray of poppadoms and mixed pickle.

[MarshalNey]

took her up the chimney.

Eh?