The Loose Association of Wargamers

Everyone went to get ready for dinner. Betty was taken to task for breaking the toilet but overheard Wade angry with one of his men - he had become sick by standing too close to the device - “can’t you see what it did to Pelfry” he said.

Over dinner the charming heroes mingled with the other attendees. They deduced that the machine isn’t put together in any sensible way (in fact it has a strange green glow inside), that Pelfry made the newspapers last year after a close friend died in an accident, the Pelfrys were being harassed (mystery phone calls, strange lights etc) and that Betty is on a promise from Keppler. Valery Hinds doesn’t not appear for dinner.

Bidding is about to start but Ms Hinds is still missing. Betty, Harvey and Gabe (good old Gabe) go to check her room. She has gone missing, her windows are open but she and her dog have completely disappeared. The manager sends Gabe and another staff member out to search the grounds for her.

Meanwhile everyone else wants the bidding to start. Just as bids are being submitted a loud knocking is heard at the window. A 7’ tall, gaunt and totally bald man, clad in a dark suit walks in. He asks to join the auction and tips out a pouch of antique gold doubloons as evidence of funds. He introduces himself in a strange, lilting voice as Mr Sleep.

The first round of bids are submitted. The heroes bid $6000 but the first round is tied with two bids at $25000. And a mystery extra bid, that offers in return for the device “Your lives”. At this point there is a scream - the cook stepped out of the kitchen and saw what she thought to be a huge beastly moth in the fog. There is general consternation in the room now when a car drives up to the front of the hotel and pauses with its headlights on and the horn starts blaring.

The brave heroes react by taking up hiding in various bolt holes around the hotel. And then they hear a voice shouting through the fog from the parked car. It is Gabe. He is calling for Betty. “Miss Brock, come and talk to me”

Betty tries to talk from the doorstep but he’s having none of it - so she and Harvey go closer. Standing by the car is Gabe. His eyes flickering he delivers a message in a strange ethereal voice, with the occasional buzzing sound

“I have a message for you. You are in grave danger. Death. The spatial annihilation device is not of you, not within your knowledge to control… Give it to us… Give it to us. Do not trust those within... You will be spared. You will live. Your existence…will… continue. Danger. Non-primate life has been detected…within. Danger. Death “


As he finishes, Gabe falls forward and Betty sees the back of his skull has been cut away and his brain is missing. Was that a tentacle that slipped out his head and into the mist ? Harvey looks behind Gabe and sees a huge moth-like creature the size of a man flutter away backwards into the mist. He very nearly wets himself.

Inside the hotel, Mr Sleep turned to Ulysses. “Your friends are having a conversation. I do wonder if they’ll be coming back”

And there we leave it till next time for Episode 3 of The Disintegrator

Right…..let’s see if I get remember all this !

Betty and Harvey brought the twitching body of Gabe back into the bar and propped him up while they briefed other members of the party, conveying the message they had received. Especially the bit about non-primate life-forms.

The other guests were getting restless so Harvey went into the room and told them to calm down and that the auction was over. Keppler was having none of this, wrote a cheque for $100k and said as far as he was concerned he had won the auction. Harvey pulled a gun on him and told him to sit down. This created some responses. Dalton (the bodyguard) pulled a gun on Harvey. Morasini and Russo (the mafia men) pulled guns on Harvey and Dalton. The lovely Mrs Palfrey pulled out her own gun and aimed into the throng.

It was a Tarantino style standoff that was broken by Harvey having a shot at Dalton, but just winging him. Arthur rushed into the room and pumped 3 shots towards Dalton. One would have killed him if Dalton hadn’t shielded himself with Keppler’s unfortunate accountant. Betty threw a table at Dalton and Keppler hitting them both in the face. Dalton fired his fully auto Mauser into Arthur who was saved by the door he was hiding behind. This allowed some return fire, finally taking down Dalton. A pause ensued….

Mr Sleep took the moment to address the room.

“I’m afraid, my friends, that the hour draws late and I must away home. Those things out there in the fog—and rest assured they are waiting for you—in the dark, waiting to slice you up and splay you open like meat on a butcher’s slab—they want this pretty toy, but they won’t let any of you live if they get it. I, however, am in a more generous mood. I’m going to save you. Walk with me, if any of you are brave enough. Bring that pretty toy for me and the rest of you can live. What’s more, you’ll have gold, so much gold. Walk out into the dark and fear not. The rest they won’t care about, not if you don’t have the machine, and I’ll take care of them, be sure. Think on it, but don’t take too long.”

He then left and went into the bar, whistling a pleasant tune.

Madame Blavatsky sneaked out of the dining room and round outside the hotel. She did notice Valerie Hind, her dog Stanley and 2 hotel staff approaching the front door. They had holes in their heads. Thinking it unnecessary to warn her colleagues she continued to creep round towards the conservatory.

Harvey, losing patience with the the commotion in the room fired 3 shots straight into the Disintegrator. The panels fell apart revealing a strangely smooth metal rod with a cool greenish glow inside it.

At this point the sound was heard of the front doors of the hotel being smashed open. Betty barricaded the dining room with a table while Arthur peered through the reception door. Valerie, her dog and the doormen had lurched into the hall and begun to try to break into the dining room. Arthur fired off a shot with his pistol blowing a hole through Valerie’s chest. She continued to kick at the door.

Madame Blavatsky crept into the conservatory. Seeing the rod exposed on the device she grabbed it - realising as she did so that it had a small, thumb size aperture in it. Mrs Palfrey and Russo both spotted this and ran through to point their guns at her. Madame B fired the device at Emmeline Palfrey and the the ray hit her….. but no effect (yet). Harvey pushed her to the ground and cuffed her. Madame B changed her target to Russo and his face was illuminated by the ray. He panicked and shot wildly but missed.

Meanwhile the Odd zombie people had smashed open the doors. Betty (or was it Arthur ?) managed to take Valerie down, but the little zombie dog Stanley ran under the table and attacked Betty’s ankle.

Arthur heard a sound next to him. It was Mr Sleep. “Do you think it’s time to accept my offer ? “ said Sleep. Arthur backed off, legged it into the dining room and turned to shoot zombie-dog Stanley blowing his yappy head from his body.

Sleep walked into the Dining Room. “It really is time to accept my offer” he said. Madame Blavatsky shouted back - “yes I’ve got the device for you”

At which point the conservatory glass roof splintered inwards and two large moth creatures flew down towards her……….

Tune in next time ! Will Ulysses emerge from behind a pot plant to say the day ?!

Eh?

He could be replying to almost any post with that

And usually does

Eh?

True story - when I worked at BAe, the Harrier production line had a small corps of older fitters whose early careers pre-dated the compulsory wearing of ear defenders, which meant that many of them were somewhat hard of hearing. They were known as "The 'Eh?' Team".