Whiskey/Hotel game 2019 - Day 1.

[Buff Orpington]

I may add a few troops to bulk up the professionals but most of my efforts will relate to the stuff I bought from LT. Some will go into Martini's Special Projects team but most of them will form the Methodist Boys FC. They will need a few RPGs and 12.7 MGs. The M60 will be a bargaining counter. It'll only come out if someone else wants to play What a Tanker. Actually, that could work. Armour is deployed off table and you sacrifice VPs for bringing it on.

[Buff Orpington]

True. Tragically, yet hilariously true.

Bishop N’Duna is welcome back in Kumbayah anytime he likes.

To answer charges pertaining to his time in charge of the Essextown orphanage.

He is currently in hiding in the Peoples Democratic Republic of Gange, which Borders Rhodeleland, having had to leave his post in the PDRG Govt. as Minister in charge of Religious Genocide, due to financial irregularities. However N'Duna has considerable popular support in the country and is able to launch cross border attacks on Rhodeleland without Gange military involvement.

Which may or may not involve Methodist Boys FC

[Norman D. Landings]

Geography trivia - no. 27 in an occasional series:

Did you know Gange used to belong to Kumbayah?

Academics from Essextown university, working under the generous patronage of President Comrade General N’Dahwehlahweh, have unearthed extensive and compelling evidence that Gange was originally a province of North-Eastern Kumbayah, until illegally seized by the imperialist forces of (insert before publication - note to self: nobody with lots of tanks).

If only there was some way to redress the wrongs of history, and bring N’Duja to justice at the same time...

[Peeler]

Ooh, but you're a scheming so&so, so you are.

[Tim Hall]

The Albion Ministry for Faraway Places (and their charming foreign doings) has today received a dispatch from the High Commissioner of Zumba, Sir Basil Hardly-Standing KCWT CG.

Sirs,

I write to inform you that I have given permission for the Murrican aircraft carrier, the USS Betty Ford, to make use of the Naval harbour facilities at Mambo, and that the deposed ruler of our neighbouring state of Kumbahyah, President M'Timbo U'Tumbi, is currently resident at the Salsaville Hilton. (At the expense of the Murrican government). I have interviewed the Murrican military representive, a Colonel Dick Nixon, at length. I have provisionally agreed to assist the Murrican government in examining options for the restoration to power of President M'Timbo. As you will be aware, Pres. U'Tumbi is a friend of Albion and Zumba, and his absence from Kumbahyah could severely affect our lucrative Sequin mining operations, dependent as we are, on certain mineral resources, previously imported from Kumbahyah. I have placed The Royal Zumban Rifles on full alert, and detachments have been posted to the border with Kumbahyah to deter any rebel incursions.

I would suggest that is in our best national interests to support Pres. U'Tumbi and seek to effect his restoration to lawful power, and frankly, the chap who deposed him is totally bonkers, and very possibly a Red. I am sure that, given time, he would seek to take military action against Zumba, especially as we are currently providing Pres. U'Tumbi with refuge. Colonel Nixon is liaising with his embassy and the Murrican Intelligence Knowledge Examination Agency to provide us with full details of the rebels capabilities and options for action. I would therefore request reinforcements in the form of Special Forces from Albion, and an Albion battalion would also be a welcome addition to our current strength. In the meantime local forces are maintaining the highest state of alert.

Yours, etc etc.

[Norman D. Landings]

Translation:

You did the hard yards rescuing U’Tumbi off the roof of government house under fire, only to have the Septics take him off your hands like big boys taking dinner money off first years.
Now they want Albion to do the shovel work reinstating the chump.
Say it all goes swimmingly?
This time next year, the ‘Murrican flag - the Spangles ‘n Dangles - will be flying over every Kumbah plantation.
Albion’s share of the post-restoration windfall will be a W H Smith concession in Essextown airport and some off-peak family passes for Congo Joe’s Safari Funland.
And if it all turns sticky?
The SPAMs swan off in their aircraft carrier and the ensuing rampage of unrest and insurrection occurs conveniently in your Commonwealth possessions.

In the meantime, might I remind you that the Albion taxpayer is still footing the bill for U’Tumbi’s exotic hamster menagerie. True.

[Paul]

Our understanding is that since his ousting from power U'Tumbi has sought asylum only in countries who have no rodent welfare laws!
Also the new Presidents Civil Servants have uncovered secret documents in Government House linking U'Tumbi to weapon smuggling, illegal arms deals with Albion and Murrica, International terrorism, ostrich abuse, Marilyn Monroes death and faking the moon landings. He also seems to like the coffee flavoured Revels, which is a sure sign of a suspicious deviant.

There is therefore international outcry, insisting that U'Tumbi be returned to Kumbayah where he can be assured of a fair and evenhanded trial before his conviction and execution for crimes against the people.

[tim.w]

Europa has developed a mobile misile system capable of being opperated by a primate, specifically designed for export to developing nations. The hope is that this will ensure the security of newly formed and developing democracies....

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/182922298734

[Tim Hall]

They look like fun.

[Norman D. Landings]

Kumbayan Space program?