Pulp Cthulhu

[grizzlymc]

Whats app with the discordance?

[Jeremy]

Great second chapter GM! Really looking forward to the third! Karina is sliding into insanity quicker than Christine slides down that pick axe handle

[goat major]

The episode opened with Dr Singh staring through a portal into the maws of an alien planet devouring worm and the - previously missing - Dr Shapiro yelling at the team to be careful with the machine.

No one seemed especially perturbed by the worm as it fired globs of viscous goo at the portal gate, and it seemed Dr Singh was entranced by the vision. Derrick bravely tackled him to the ground just as a gob of goo engulfed them both, choking and burning them

Karina took Shapiro at gunpoint into the control room to switch off the portal, hearing him mutter in Naacal a prayer to the great toad god as he did so. Hilaire cunningly told Shapiro not to switch off the machine as it was rigged to explode. In the indecision that resulted Karina decided to shoot him and he rolled away gesticulating and chanting in a strange tongue.

Randall strapped 4 sticks of dynamite together. As is his wont. And then went to help rescue the goo brothers along with Hilaire.

Meanwhile a struggle ensued in the control room with Shapiro using Christine as a human shield . Having freed the sticky twosome, nearly everyone returned to the control room to surround Shapiro. It was at this point it became apparent that Shapiro wasn't Shapiro but was transforming into a viscous blob of tentacled orifices - similar to something they'd seen in Bolivia. The sight of this was simply too much for Christine who's sanity snapped momentarily as she deduced that the people she was with weren't just idiots - they were clearly agents of the Inner Night. As she prepared to lay into them with her pickaxe she was knocked unconscious by a blow to the head by the cunning Hilaire. Karina was grabbed by a tentacle but managed to wriggle free.

Between them Randall and Karina resorted to Plan A for dealing with monsters: fucking loads of dynamite. The dynamite exploded, the monster exploded, the machine room exploded and set on fire. Klaxons wailed, lights flashed, the ceiling started to crumble.

Everyone one with sense would at this stage run for the exit. Dr Singh went to investigate the dead end tunnel . With the rest of the heroes gathered at the foot of the cliff, they saw a final explosion and the mountainside collapse, with Dr Singh inside.

The heroes returned to the Viral Analyser which informed them that the disease would burn out and also gave the formula for a test. It turned out that Hilaire perhaps shouldn't have drunk that tea with the plantation owner and he showed positive. The only cure apparently being Procedure 23C - available in New York.

The team then moved on to dispose of the pulsating, imminently-exploding bomb, discovering the sticky bones of Real Shapiro as they went. The bomb was dropped down an - apparently - bottomless pit.

All good really, just enough time for a leisurely drive home with Karina's expert driving skills providing a reassuring ride. The British army checkpoint may have caused a problem, but paled into insignificance as the mountain behind them exploded into a fireball and the flamestorm roared down towards them. At which point Karina put back women's equality for the next 50 years by stalling the truck and flooding the engine. All the men tutted. Having another go she crashed through the roadblock and skidded round the corner of the mountainside just as the jets of incinerating inferno lapped behind the truck. Randall's eyebrows may be slightly less bushy now.

Almost mission accomplished. Everyone seemed most unconcerned by Hilaire's infection with one of the deadliest diseases on the planet and decided to go out to dinner. This was a bit much even for Hilaire who decided to rent a plane to New York. Flashing his Francs around it was too much temptation for Mad Jack "Nosedive" Jackson who offered to fly him there - as long as he was allowed to drink while flying.

The episode ended with the heroes flying back to New York in a Caduceus aircraft sipping on martinis. The scene cuts and Hilaire is seen gripping onto his seat with white fingers as Mad Jack demonstrates how easy it is to fly at wave height over the Pacific Ocean.

Then as the credits end we see a dark circle of stones in woodland, a sudden crack of electricity flashes from nowhere and Dr Singh stands up and adjusts his turban - looking only slightly more deranged than normal ….

Season 3 coming soon…..

[Jeremy]

Loved it! Can’t wait!

[Norman D. Landings]

Could not have gone any smoother.
A flawlessly planned and clinically executed operation from start to finish.

[grizzlymc]

"a viscous blob of tentacled orifices - similar to something they'd seen in Bolivia"

Yeah, I remember, used to act as a bouncer in a shebeen in Oruru.

[levied troop]

I just remember the notable sayings of the gang:
Randall - “Hilaire successfully got snakefeatures off the panel”
Christine - “ Hilaire is hard...”
The God: “ Hilaire cunningly...” and “Cunning Hilaire....”

Oh, and that brave dash across the (globby, exploding) cavern, carrying Christine, as Bonnie Tyler gave it everything in the background.

As for the disease, Pah! Once I’m back in NY I’ll just dynamite a 5G mast and everything will be ok.

[goat major]

I must apologise for missing out Hilaire's brave rescue of Christine when everyone else just legged it. It was a selfless act, repayed in full when they all decided to go out for dinner instead of helping to get you to a cure.

[Jeremy]

Look, prime rump steak, lobster and a fine Chianti versus watching a Frenchman expel bodily fluids simultaneously from every orifice, is there REALLY a choice?

[BaronVonWreckedoften]

Dinner theatre was probably invented for those who simply couldn't decide one way or the other.