Pulp Cthulhu

[goat major]

It was a textbook assault. Unfortunately it was from a textbook called "How not to attack a warehouse"

Hilaire stealthily tried the back door, managing to set off all the alarms in the process. An immediate firefight ensued with Hilaire, Karina, Derrick and the Serpent Person guards. Hilaire tried to fire the flame pistol, mishandled and blew himself up. Dr Singh saw the young urchin boy die horribly from his own shadows, shrugged and fired his flame pistol. And also blew himself up.

At the front door Randall stormed in and despite a great shot got macheted in the face and was saved by fat-lady-pickaxe-girl. A chubby man emerged from an office, attempting to cast a spell (perhaps) but got Randall's stopping revolver in the face for his efforts, though a trilby-wearing snake man took one of the shots for him.

Meanwhile Hilaire felt his soul energy being drained by shadows dragging down around his legs and ran for the sunlight.

Out of an office door ran their previous mentor Dr Goncalvez, looking mightily annoyed. He threw a small nunchuk into Randall's arse as he inspected the toilet. The nunchuk - a carved jade snake - started to burrow inside him and up his back towards his heart. Luckily Christina was on hand to carry out an emergency medical procedure with her pickaxe/scalpel and pulled it out just as it headed towards his vital organ [insert joke here].

Christina performed her clairvoyant skills on the fat man and deduced that Caduceus were hunting the heroes as deadly enemies.

Goncalvez took pistol shots from Karina and Derrick but was able to absorb them with his Flesh Ward spell, Turning on Derrick he cast Black Words to Burn The Mortal Soul and our unfortunate hero began to combust internally. Through an amazing turn of good luck, the water sprinkler system kicked in just in time and the cooling water extinguished the sizzling body Derrick just before he passed away from the pain. Phew.

Bullets riddled Goncalvez and a final shot from Randall finished him off. A silence descending over the warehouse, except for the fireside crackling from Derrick.

Searching the warehouse revealed that De Luca was also in Brazil and has been tasked with making sure the HD (Haftorang Device?) is available to close the portal on Snake Island once Meadham has passed through. Also they found the anti venin and keys to the Caduceus seaplane.

Given the lack of piloting expertise the heroes elected to taxi the seaplane over to the island without taking off. They watched as a series of transport spheres flew over them towards the island and then looking back down were somewhat horrified to see the sea erupt as a gigantic sea serpent lunged out of the ocean towards them.

If only that plane was airborne…..

[Jeremy]

The lack of piloting experience - or the lack of the Frenchmen telling anyone he had piloting experience?

[goat major]

He seemed to forget back on that plummeting plane in Borneo now that you mention it

[Jeremy]

So thereby being as effective as he always is

[World2dave]

Derrick (current call sign "Smokin' Joe") saved the day on that occasion with his piloting talents.
What a guy.

[goat major]

And it's time for him to pilot you all out of trouble again.

Oh, zero luck....

[Jeremy]

Yes, and dipping in and out of consciousness after his little burning incident

[World2dave]

Who needs luck with this level of talent?

[Jeremy]

Maybe we can feed Randall and Singh to the creature to distract it. Poor bastard will need Rennies after that snack

[goat major]

Hilaire remembered that he knew how to fly a plane and pulled on his joystick, narrowly escaping the lunge of the sea serpent and ascending to safety. A reconnaissance overflight of the area showed the most likely landing place to be near a rocky inlet on the other side of the island. so Hilaire using all his piloting skill plunged the seaplane into a nosedive and hit the water with a belly flop, amazingly avoiding any structural damage. The heroes debarked into canvas boats and headed for the shore but found getting on to the rocks a difficult task, especially with the giant sea serpent bearing down on them. Several splashes and jumps later they made it to shore, but their boats were devoured by the beast.

Atop the island was a lighthouse around which gunfire and explosions could be seen and heard. Creeping up and avoiding snakes the heroes witnessed a full on fight between Rose Meadham and Frank De Luca of Caduceus. Being all-action heroes the team decided to sit back and just watch the fight. This became interesting when Rose summoned a formless spawn of Tsathoggua which began hoovering up De Luca's men. De Luca could be heard on a field telephone shouting orders to 'activate the device'.

At this point the heroes decide to eliminate the Rose Meadham faction and surprise them with gunfire and - of course - dynamite. Minions were eliminated , but Rose absorbed damage with her Flesh Ward. She ran off into the Caduceus encampment and out of sight.

WIth Rose unavailable to issue commands, the formless spawn regained some control and realised that it knew Hilaire from the past and slithered over to greet and lick him with its many drooling tongues. Amazingly it liked him. Turns out his best (only) friend is a gibbering, formless, viscous alien blob. Who knew.

Rose then appeared from behind where de Luca was last seen, holding his severed head in her hand and declaring victory with an evil cackle. Behind her could be seen the swirling vortex of a portal. This prompted a barrage of gunfire which she took full on, but she was less well prepared for Christina's pickaxe and belly wobble charge. Rose let herself fall backwards into the portal and she disappeared from view. This was too much for Christina who - unable to control her rage - leapt through the portal after her.

Those remaining realised they could hear a beeping noise coming from the tower. Perhaps the Haftoran Device was going to blow* ? That prompted everyone to follow Christina through the alien gate, including Hilaire's BFF formless spawn.

The heroes awoke on a desolate plateau looking out over a strange and grotesque landscape - in the distance could be seen a glistening citadel. They were in Mu.

Come back in the Autumn for the final season......


* Does that mean it has now blown ? Maybe its destroyed the portal and the hero's only means of escape ?