Pulp Cthulhu

[World2dave]

Even in her current state, I don't think Rose is out of the question for Dr Singh to take a romantic interest.

[Norman D. Landings]

Well thanks for that.
The image of Dr Singh splashing about in a foetid prehistoric swamp with his pants round his ankles, ramming himself uncontrollably into a partially digested pile of steaming body parts.

[BaronVonWreckedoften]

Ah, come on - I'm sure you've seen worse in the local A&E when you've been on nights.

Never mind on the bus going home at the end of the shift.....

[goat major]

Surrounding the base of the mountain were petrified forms of serpent people, humans and elder things. Karina's internal companion told her that this was the curse of Ghatanothoa the volcano god - those who stayed too long in it's presence become petrified. Spurred on by this the heroes ran for the entrance shaft and timed it just right as it phased into this dimension. The walkway flickered in and out of reality and they made it to the top though Hilaire was injured by falling masonry.

Inside the city they found themselves in a warren of decaying walkways and corridors littered with detritus of millenia. The great hunter struggled to find a trail of Meadham but luckily Karina pointed that it was bloody obvious and they set out after him.

Some harmless blind hamsters were encountered. They were flamed and shot out of existence. Some bits were left and Hilaire ate them. Tasty. Further along a strange room was found with a fleshy wall that dispensed…. Small blind hamsters. Hilaire ate another one and took one as a snack for later.

A chanting sound was heard, slithery small degenerate serpent people. Dynamite. No more serpent people. Easy. Who knows what stories they could have told?

The city was in some distress, some parts phasing in and out of reality. Part of the floor suddenly dematerialised and Hilaire and Randall fell through landing in what seemed to be the inside of a large brass diving bell - outside of which was ocean floor. Strangely in the distance could be seen a (glass walled ? ) city corridor floating above the ocean floor.

The rest of the heroes continued without their Top Team. They found a misty egg chamber and shapes moving inside the eggs. Cautiously they moved through, Doctor Singh was so tempted to touch an egg. So tempted. Unbelievably he didn't and they left the room unscathed. Who knows what powers he neglected so wilfully ?

Randall and Hilaire meanwhile prepared to leave the diving bell. They saw their friends emerge into the corridor - it was a way back into the city. The other heroes touched the wall and sensed it was a thin membrane and their friends on the other side. So they buggered off to somewhere safer. Randall and Hilaire swam over to the corridor, now pursued by Deep Ones (not mermen!) and cut a hole into the membrane. The hole burst open and the ocean flooded in, smashing Randall against the wall and making Hilaire draw deeply on his reserve of luck…..

As the heroes emerged from the water the Deep Ones pursued but were eviscerated in a hail bullets and flame. Dr Singh meanwhile had entered the Bio Repair labs and wet himself at the sight of all the science. He reckoned he could turn back into a human. Hilaire declined. He reckoned he could heal Randall. Randall accepted. Minutes later Randall was a new man. In more ways than one, as his foot to toe scaley skin now demonstrated (Appearance 24 but with a smashing moustache)

Small viewing portholes in the lab reveal a huge cavern filled with transport spheres being manufactured in their 1000s, each one then filled with swarms of buzzing insects. Meadham's plan has already been initiated.

Leaving the room with the Worlds Greatest Snakelike Hunter, the heroes come to a doorway through which chanting can be heard. Singh stepped (is pushed) around the corner and a large temple is visible, filled with degenerate worshiping serpent people. In the centre of them can be seen Joshua Meadham. He looks at Singh and shouts " you feared me when I was Meadham but now you will fear me more…..for I am now YIG!"

His body pulses and his muscles expand, ripping his clothes as he transforms into the huge fearsome earthly presence of the serpent god Yig.

Tune-in in the new year for the …… final….. episode of Two Headed Serpent

[BaronVonWreckedoften]

.....Detritus of Millenia.

Could you just remind us which ancient kingdom he ruled, please?

[goat major]

Dr Singh trembled as Yig incarnate approached him. Others entered the room keen to fight the god of the Serpent People.

Hilaire, Derrick, Randall and Karina unloaded firearms into the raging avatar. Dynamite was tried but Yig had a handy magical power - transform sticks into snakes ! The sticks of dynamite fizzled into hissing serpents.

Derrick was hit with Yig's piercing claws, smashing his laser staff and he fell wounded and bleeding outside of the room, his coat ripped from his back and narrowly escaping certain death.
[ First death - miraculous avoidance]

Randall found his elephant gun transformed into a writhing snake. Karina managed to land a stick of dynamite next to him that did explode but his serpent person adherents smothered it and prevented his death. As bullets and flames riddled the god, Karina tried to dodge past him but was grabbed by his powerful arms. He lifted her towards his mouth and she managed to fire a .45 bullet down into his throat and pierce his brain but not before he was able to snap her neck like a doll.
[Second death- in a blaze of glory]

Yig collapsed onto the floor, his soul burning and soon all that was left was an empty husk of dried snake skin.

Christina avoided all conflict, ran through the room and entered the main control room.

Meanwhile Dr Singh had donned a neural headset and connected with the all seeing Computer God of Mu. He deduced that something was now suddenly reprogramming the viral venom that was being piped into the bio insects and that he must get to the main control room.

As Singh rushed into the control room he saw a huge computer complex with Christina plugged into the neural network. Christina had a strange look in her eyes.

The computer spoke through a hologram and told Singh that the human race was doomed and that the computer would now rule Earth with it's new Mistress (looking towards Christina). At this point Singh remembered Christina back in Calcutta trying to commune with the dead body of the priestess Tyrannissh - and fumbling the roll……

The other heroes ran into the room and attempted to de-programme the computer - partly through cunning interactive techniques. And also with dynamite.

Christina declared herself as Tyrannish reborn and proceeded to pummel Dr Singh to shit as he ran around the room aimlessly. As she noticed the heroes retreating from the primed dynamite she final flew into a rage and summoned the god of the volcano. The god who lives literally underneath the room. At this the floor exploded and Dr Singh, barely conscious was only saved by landing on Christina's head

[Third death- miraculous escape]

The heroes all fled leaving Christina alone in the collapsing control room. She summoned the last of her magical energy and opened a portal to another dimension…….

The fleeing heroes fought through crowds of panicking serpent people and a huge wave now flooding through the complex as the oceans erupted into the city. Hilaire nearly died as he smashed into a wall, but his serpent skin just saved him. The strength of the waters was too strong for some, as Derrick was washed away down a storm drain and Hilaire then disappeared into the icy depths.

Singh and Randall made it to the transport sphere bay and sped back to the Portal flying straight through at high speed. In fact so fast they flew straight over the bedraggled figure of Derrick who had been washed out into the swamp. As they landed back on Snake Island the gate collapsed behind them, but they were safe. Unlike Derrick who was stuck in Mu.

Hilaire was flushed through the water cooling system and - amazingly landed on top of Christina as she was about to step into her own portal - knocking them both tumbling through it.
[Fourth death - blaze of glory]

The world was saved. Mu didn’t materialise and the citadel was destroyed. The plans of Caduceus, The Inner Night and Tyrannish had all been foiled. Though Tyrannish still lived inside Christina's head…..

As the credits roll we see the heroes facing up to their new lives

- Randall, still believing he is the world's greatest hunter is restored to human appearance by the amazing science of Dr Singh. Surely nothing would have gone wrong. Surely not.
- Dr Singh deconstructs the transport sphere and becomes a playboy millionaire
- Christina, Tyrannish and Hilaire reappear in New York and open a restaurant in Little Italy with a particular brand of chinese/french/serpent person fusion dishes
- Karina posthumously becomes the cover girl for for Pulp Girls in their Swimwear Magazine
- Derrick meanwhile begins the long journey through Mu fighting to return to Earth and hoping that he doesn’t become the disappointing spin-off series


And they only reason you are alive and reading this today is because of the actions of these heroes back in 1933.

Aren't you glad about that ?

[Jeremy]

Superb fun! And well done on the cat herding to see it through!

When you said that Christina and Hillaire would be reassembled when going through the portal, I was hoping a fat, androgynous French Chinese abomination would crawl through the other side. Disappointed when it didn’t.

[goat major]

Haha wish I'd thought of that!

[World2dave]

It was an excellent finale. Just knowing there was a good chance Randall might be killed in some hideous, bowel-tearing manner kept everyone on tenterhooks!

The part(s) of the show that people would always remember most fondly were definitely Karina's tits. They always made an appearance at just the right moment.

Thanks Simon for a 2+ year rollercoaster

[Jeremy]

They made an appearance at just the right time in every single episode